lazypau

pictures from zan's birthday thing and wow i was definitely not photogenic that day.

when it rains, it pours shit.

please think back and try to recall your life a few years back. the exact words you said, those little actions of yours, the people you hung out with, things that were important to you. many of those times are so precious to me, but when i think back, memories are few and vague. and as time passes by, we manage to remember less and less. it scares me.

today was zan's surprise party thing! it was pretty fun and i hope she enjoyed herself! happy eighteenth birthday to zannie, you goon!

i should stop coming online and start spending my time more constructively.. like reading seventeen (omggg lindsay's on the cover!!!) or gossip girl. spend wayyy too much on books! i'm going to borrow books from the library tomorrow, i'm so excited! besides the fact that i am very disturbed by how many million different types of germs from eeky people who borrow the book, i am totally fine with library books! so excitinggg i hope they have good books! i'll try my hardest not to borrow chick lit.

Accidentally On Purpose says:
imagine me saying that with pride and gusto
Accidentally On Purpose says:
because i typed my eyes when i rolled that

hahaha wow biyi has dyslexia. anyway i haven't been drinking enough water nowadays, maybe that's why i felt so woozy during training. my lips think they are large hydrocarbons, i.e. they are cracking. i shall talk about some life lessons before i sleep.

life lesson 1: karma--what goes around, comes around.
life lesson 1.1: don't make fun of people with bad skin
life lesson 1.2: don't make fun of nerds
life lesson 1.3: don't make fun of anything which has the remote chance of happening to you/your kids/your parents/your partner

ok i thought of more stuff but i cannot remember now so i am going to talk about plants. i've always wanted a venus fly trap, cold storage used to sell them but now they don't so i don't know where to get one. i killed a cactus before but i am sure that was not my fault. my rose plant, bruise, survived for pretty long and flowered a lot of times before it dried up and died. i was quite sad. i had pretty flowers i chose by myself in my garden before but my dog, bingo, killed the plant with its pee (too salty?). in the same garden, we grew really nice, big and tall sunflowers which were taller than me at that point of time (about 1.5m). i am definitely getting some gardening genes from my mum and gramma. they love plants and flowers, flowers especially. flowers made them very happy in new zealand.

if i continue being sick and sick and sick and dizzy and light-headed and nauseous ALL THE DAMN TIME, i can really say goodbye to being in the netball team. wow i think miss choi doesn't even give a shit anymore when i give myself breaks. must. recover. for. next. week. team is chosen next week pleasepleaseplease don't let me be out!!! this is very demoralising. please pray for me thank you. i'm vair worried.

anyway block tests are oh-vah, darling. totally gonna give myself a break tomorrow even though i have not been studying hard at all. my "studying" was usually done the night (like starting from 1a.m.) before (econs, math and physics) or the morning itself (chemistry). but it's oh-vahhh so i win.

hohum i had churros today. i need to go do a very exciting project about the Green Plan 2012 now.

why couldn't i see
it's so easy to be happy

but the feeling is so fleeting
ephemeral

and soon darkness takes over again.

oh my God please save me it is that time of the night again.

ah.. old times. i know it's a fugly photo but i thought it encaptured quite a part of sec 4 life. and i don't usually wear that red hairband, it wasn't allowed and i think my hair was quite screwed up in school. fun fun fun and carefree times. sometimes i wonder do we make the past sound more glorious than it was because we don't like the present? nah, it was beautiful.

right now i am beyond FUCKED for my tests.. yesterday i watched two episodes of csi, "jue shi hao bra", a cartoon pig show and some other tv shows; today i watched jason mraz live dvd, mtv, some singaporean show about jailbirds, magadascar and so on. i read half a page of econs while watching the jail show. i also finished all my chocolates so my sore throat continues. i love love love moro!

are we truly in like/love or are we just here to win the game? are we only so hung over because our feelings are genuine or because we cannot bear to lose? or has our desire to win materialised emotions which weren't there in the first place? whatever it is, it is truly sad for us and the walls won't stop caving in.

sore throat from too much chocolates. i love candy empire. i was supposed to have this reward system where i can have some chocolates after finishing a few topics but i slept while trying to memorise math formulae and gave myself twix, coffee&cream chocolate and peppermint chocolate anyway. my sister and i were playing with the colour twisties.. it was very tiring having our tongues hang out for really long to see what colour they become. we only managed to get green and blue.. what a scam : ( my sis said she had halloween twisties and they came in shapes of bones and skulls and stuffs and were supposed to glow in the dark and have a "ghastly flavour". cool tunes! i want to get tonnes of interesting snacks and chips and chocolates!

have some pictures to post up but blogger is being anal. the best i can get is probably EEOO for block tests, but that's alright as long they don't make me drop my s papers. i will plea temporary insanity. ok i did about two chapters of math, and read through three chapters of physics which i am sure i will not be able to apply, and hardly touched chem and econs. wow typing that out made it seem a lot less than it felt to me. never mind i will start being a full-fledged mugshit after terms.

i am in love with jason mraz (but am not psycho-ass like those girls)! front row seats woooo : ) he's really really really good, along with toca rivera. words just do not suffice his/their greatness and funniness. we should've stalked him at the cleo bachelors party. opening act was the unXpected, they were pretty good too. but nothinggg can beat mraz! and i wanted to die because i really wanted him to play "i'm yours".. and he played it last!!! he saved the best for the last! charmie and i were totally exciteddd! since anal esplanade people don't allow photography etc etc etc (and the man in black was crawling everywhere to warn people about whatever they were doing was very annoying), here are some old photos i got off the net.

bloody tired. sometimes from training, sometimes from work, sometimes from going out, sometimes from waiting, sometimes from sleeping too much, sometimes from sleeping too little, sometimes from being too sad, sometimes from being too hyper, sometimes from doing nothing. constantly tired. need. some. energy. pills.

i don't feel like going for block tests.

gp test this morning, as long it's over, i'm glad. skipped the career talk and saved on an hour of wasted youth to eat lunch : ) friendly with blaze juniors (flame?) in the late evening. my kfc meal totally defeats my calorie loss during training. then i come home and my dad starts forcefeeding me with more food.

i really can't stand it when people nag at me repeatedly. but i try and contain my frustration and anger and outbursts. even my parents don't nag at me, i don't see why anyone else should. and it is always my fault and not yours. guess what, that's where you are wrong. sometimes it's you, sometimes it's me and sometimes it's the both of us. and i jump when i want to. so please leave me alone.

i am currently hating you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you.

ok, i'm not supposed to be hating. i am disliking you guys a lot right now.

i'm happier nowadays but i still wish some things were different and i need a dermatologist really badly.

rachael yamagata - be be your love

if i could take you away
pretend i was queen
what would you say
would you think i'm unreal
cos everybody's got their way i should feel

everybody's talking how i can't, can't be your love
but i want, want, want to be your love
want to be your love, for real
everybody's talking how i can't, can't be your love
but i want, want, want to be your love
want to be your love, for real
want to be your everything, everything

everything's falling, and i am included in that
oh, how i try to be just okay
yeah, but all i ever really wanted
was a little piece of you

and everybody's talking how i can't, can't be your love
but i want, want, want to be your love
want to be your love, for real
everybody's talking how i can't, can't be your love
but i want, want, want to be your love
want to be your love, for real

everything will be alright
if you just stay the night
please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away
please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away

darken the statements that are true to you.
italise the statements that you wish are true.
leave the fibs alone.
then, stab 5 people to do the same test.

i miss somebody right now.
i don't watch tv these days.
i own lots of books. (how many is a lot?)
i wear glasses or contact lenses.
i love to play video games.
i've tried marijuana.
i have been in a threesome.
i have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
i believe honesty is usually the best policy.
i curse sometimes.
i have changed mentally a lot over the last year.
i carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
i'm TOTALLY smart.
i've broken someone's bones.
i'm paranoid sometimes.
i would get plastic surger if it were 100% safe, free of cost and scar-free.
i need money right now.
i love sushi.
i talk really, really fast.
i have long hair.
i have lost money in Las Vegas.
i have at least one sibling.
i have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
i couldn't survive without caller id.
i like the way i look.
i am usually pessimistic.
i have a lot of mood swings.
i have a hidden talent.
i'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
i have a lot of friends. (do friends include acquaintances? and again, how many is a lot?)
i am currently single!
i have pecked someone of the same sex.
i enjoy talking on the phone.
i practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
i love to shop.
enjoy window shopping.
i would rather shop than eat. (depends)
i don't hate anyone.
i dislike them.
i'm a pretty good dancer.
i'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
i have a cell phone.
i believe in God.
i watch mtv on a daily basis. (i used to)
i have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. (i didn't pass out!)
i've rejected someone before.
i have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
i want to have children in the future.
i have changed a diaper before.
i've called the cops on a friend before.
i'm not allergic to anything.
i have a lot to learn.
i have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
i am shy around the opposite sex.
i have tried alcohol before.
i have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
i own the "South Park" movie. (used to)
i would die for my best friends.
i think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
i have used my sexuality to advance my career.
i love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
i watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
i have dated a close friend's ex.
i am happy at this moment! (not ecstatic, but happy enough)
i'm obsessed with guys.
Democrat.
i am punk rockish.
i am preppy.
i study for tests most of the time
i tie my shoelaces differently from anyone else i've ever met.
i can work on a car.
i love my job.
i am comfortable with who i am right now.
i have more than just my ears pierced.
i walk barefoot whenever i can.
i have jumped off a bridge. (bungy jumping)
i love sea turtles.
i spend ridiculous money on makeup.
plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
i'm proficient in a musical instrument.
i worked at McDonald's restaurant.
i hate office jobs.
i love sci-fi movies.
i think water rules.
i went college out of state.
i like sausages.
i love kisses.
i fall for the worst people.
i adore bright colours.
i can't live without black eyeliner.
i don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing.
i usually like covers better than originals.
i can pick things up with my toes. (minimally, but it counts!)
i can't whistle.
i can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
i have ridden/owned a horse.
i still have every journal i've ever written in.
i can't stick to a diet.
i talk in my sleep. (i used to do that)
i try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
i have jazz in my blood.
i wear a toe ring.
i have a tattoo.
i can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
i am a caffeine junkie. (i would be if caffeine didn't give me headaches)
i cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
i have been to over 15 conventions.
i will collect anything, the more nonsensical, the better.
i'm an artist.
i only clean my room when necessary.
i like a person of the same sex.
i love being happy. (who doesn't?)
i am an adrenaline junkie.

ok that was one of my most honest posts ever. don't question, don't judge. i'll stab everyone who reads this including chinleng, maybs, chah, bee, eunice, xue and mr. inotfat! another productive sunday afternoon.

watched rugby sevens with cat just now. rj rugby jerseys are disgusting!!! the sun was totally superpower that i have more tanlines (especially obvious is my slipper tan) just by watching the games at the bleachers. i feel burnttt. so now i am radiating heat again. TOO HOT TO HANDLE!

just watched fantastic four! wow chris evans is damn hot and he was sooo hawwwt in the show (pun not intended) even though he was being such an arrogant cockhead sometimes. i lovelovelove jokers! i think jessica alba isn't that pretty and she can't really act either.. but ok credit for her bod.

skipped school today happily, anyway i couldn't drag my aching body out of bed until 11a.m., i just wanted to sleep forever! slacked around then went to the doctor to get some phlegm medicine (i am really falling sick, again) and now my throat is very itchy but i don't feel like coughing. did some x-rays too but anyway no broken bones or hairline fractures, but tendon problems i guess. back to school tomorrow : ( poop it's going to midnight soon and it's hot so i'm going to bathe bye.

KNN got a damn huge blister the size of my big toe ON MY BIG TOE! and being totally clever and shit, i cut off the skin and it's freaking raw nowww and it hurts! i put some cream on it. i think i'm never going to be able to walk. i'm really tired from the friendly with vj just now and i need a break from school (after one day haha) anddd i need to see the doctor and HENCE i am skipping school tomorrow. i am sure my dear form teacher will understand because he saw me going home at ten plus looking like a salted vegetable, sweaty and limppp. strangely, my sister was also in the same carriage.. what a small world. night i'm off to sleep it's really late. oh before i leave..

boilingpoint@dxo
date: 16th march
music: hiphop, r&b, top 40s
dress: to boil!
drinks: fantastic promotions, 1for1, tequila shots at $5, absolut vodka at $105, jim beam black at $118, 2 bottles of jim beam at the door for $200
tickets: presales at $18
presales are running out so please reserve tickets from rachel@90292931

mozilla decided to be weird and now i lost all my history and bookmarks and urls and passwords. what a trouble to remember everything again.

why do i always ruin everything?

sleeping in was lovely.. met up with my dearest chinleng today to get some work done. this may sound quite mugger but i was just copying some due tutorials. caffeine really gives me a headache but i like drinking coffee stuff. i don't know why people think that studying in town is weird or wearing uniform to town is weird either. i think maybe cos we kind of "grew up" there in our rgs uniform and often lovely t-shirts and shorts too that it feels like home to us, plus i don't see what is so glam about town that you musttt dress up or whatever. just a point.

don't you ever wish you could know how life would have turned out if you had chosen something else? what if i joined netball in sec 1? would i still have been the slacker girl? (ok actually i know the answer to thi-- yes. just that i would've been more busy.) what if i had continued with jap? what if i had gone overseas to study after Os? what if i chose ac instead of mj? what if i continued with arts instead of going to science? what if i chose tennis instead of netball? what if i had/hadn't done that, or that or even that? but we can't, and we can only guess. someone once told me that whenever you face a decision to make, the universe is split into two. this got me thinking and if there are parallel universes, there would be countless of them.. i'm going to stop thinking because if i carry on, my head will explode.

my make-up remover ran out so i have bits of mascara stuck to my lashes.. and i just remembered there's talent management tomorrow morning and i absolutely have to go because the teacher reminded me about three times and he even said, "please try not to be sick." i wanted to see a doctor today about various stuff but too lazy and sleepy. mmm i'm eating nian gao (you know the brown stuff which is sticky and sweet fried in flour that you eat during chinese new year) now.. and how fattening are milkshakes? because i am drinking at least one milkshake a day.

i talk too much and i am going to shut up now. i want to stop blogging but i cannot bear to leave this place. i want to record every single detail of my life so that i can always look back and remember but i don't because it's too tiring and too dangerous.

i am so happy! mj has declared tomorrow a holiday because of (relatively) good A level results. congratulations to those who did well and cheer up, you who didn't meet your own expectations. i'm going to spend this weekend getting some r&r as usual, and hopefully some under the sun! as well as getting some work done. netball has been encountering some problems but i think and hope things will turn out ok as long as we work together : ) and it's nice to hear them say i've been improving though i really don't think so especially because i am in a perpetual daze during training after my s paper classes. it's like after feeling stupid in class because they all seem to speak in greek, i continue to maintain that level of stupidity on court.

a picture from danceworks (naomin the lovely mj dancer in white)!