lazypau

words are rarely doing good. these excited little bout of speeches punctuated with disgust and mock amazement (read: bitching). your ears hang on for juicy bits of news, the anticipation of the next scandal. perhaps we should learn to keep our mouths shut, to think for a minute or two before letting these words roll off our tongues. for the same reason, we should be allowed a period of time to think before we speak and yet not be thought a lagging fool. this is off point, but maybe blogs should be eradicated. after all, aren't they taking up too much web space? such a pestilence, aren't they?

cigarettes are like chocolates. they taste so good (does a cigarette taste good? does it make you feel good? subjective.) because they're bad for you. you can't help yourself but take one after another, knowing they leave you with a shorter life and stinky fingers/fat with sticky fingers. they are addictive. the smell. the lingering aftertaste. the way you can savour each drag/square. the way the cigarette is wasted when it's burning in your hands and the way the chocolate is wasted when it's melting in your hands. they're unexpected allies, them, chocolates and cigarettes. the perfect diet: cigarettes and chocolate milk, with chunks of chocolates and rufus wainwright.

speaking of chocolates, i saw a line of myst's poem, "a piece of chocolate missed is another piece of heaven lost."

so hot, i could eat you up.

has been long since i felt like this. no, it's not a good feeling. i just want to curl up in bed all day and sleep.

missed desperate housewives on monday for gotham penthouse : ( anyone has the episode?

my computer has a virus. what should i do? it's a constant battle. if i can close the pop-ups as fast as they emerge. if i have the patience to wait for it to just do what it's supposed to do. all that nonsense.

some things, i cannot decipher. like a riddle without an answer.

i feel like being an irresponsible, to-hell-with-that, swearing, wild child again. i know i'm not the same as before. there's a reason behind it, as there is always a reason behind everything. firstly, there's God. secondly, on a less spiritual level, i think it is highly unlikely that i will die at age twenty-five, happy, drunk and at the peak of my partying career. therefore, in order not to lead a really pathetic, miserable, poor and unexciting life for the rest of my years, i will have to act now. thirdly, i am having permanent menstrual syndrome.

i feel like 1. not doing gp essay, 2. ponning school tomorrow, 3. clubbing, 4. ponning all the ogl things, 5. seducing hodge to get into rj. unfortunately, i think i will not do most of the above.

why do feet stink?

i've never liked senseless, repetitive shots of people. it's narcissistic and unappreciative taking photographs of places with yourself in it. imagine some huge face splashed in the middle of mount fuji, or the pyramids. you could even add that little victory sign they do with their fingers. but of course it's alright to take stupid shots sometimes when you're bored.

supposed to be researching on aborigine, the stolen generation, eugenics and social darwinism. i'll do that when i get home later. last salsa class today.. hmm i would love to do latin, but i hate the idea of some strange man dancing with me. perhaps i should lose about 50kg, in case my partner can't even lift me up.

hopefully, the upcoming holidays will improve my short and bad temper. i am also not looking forward to ogl camp. i hate camps of any sort.

i love desperate housewives. hot people and it's trashy and smart at the same time. what's not to love?

i will learn to be more careful with words. words, are dangerous things.

patience is important. i've been short of patience nowadays, i would blame the weather, but it's just me.

i'm influenced easily.

if i can't take physics lit econs maths in mj, i'll do either chem or fmaths in place of english literature.

there are no long paragraphs because i don't feel like elaborating.

lethargic. tired. exhausted. i feel rather anti-social nowadays, i wish everyone would go away. ok, not everyone. just those who are such pains in the neck, eg. tan wan yee.

anyhow, today was quite a good day. i met polkamom, got the overpriced bikini which came with a bottle of original source shampoo and a bottle of conditioner, green/white shades and watched hitch which had a happy ending like all romantic comedies. in school, i had fun playing the role of king of france in place of silas. i shall consider a career in acting.

i am fickle! (this can go all the way back to secondary one) i wanted to go to rj, then overseas, then rj, ac, rj, overseas, ac, rj and so on (hah, note where i ended up). i wanted to do bio+chem+econs+math, then phy+chem+econs+math, then phy+lit+econs+math. four days ago, i changed my mind to lit+hist+econs+math. one day later, i wanted triple science. then i was bouncing back and forth between chem or lit to go along with phy+econs+math. now, i am considering aeronautical engineering or mass communications or visual communications or some pr thing in poly. somebody shoot me.

i'm so sad. everything is going wrong. imperfections and mistakes.

i haven't been doing my homework.

and why does everything seem so hopeless?

i haven't been reading the papers because i don't want to read about those overachievers who make me feel like a slug in comparison.

on the brighter side, i can apply for a jc now that moe rectified the little problem. i know life isn't that bleak : ) there are happy things.